“Learn to rest, not to quit.”
Mommy Burnout is the physical and emotional exhaustion you feel due to the stress and demands of parenting. When you are unable to find the energy to complete your daily task, and you feel extremely overwhelmed. It’s when you’re tired, but no amount of sleep is enough. It’s the sad moments when you start having regrets and feeling resentment towards your children.
I remember it was my first Mother’s Day; I was on the phone in tears, telling a friend that I did not want to do this anymore. My son was four months, and I was having a breakdown. Trying to deal with the emotions of an unhealthy relationship and trying to take care of a newborn exhausted me. I couldn’t even breathe. Reflecting on that day, it was the first time I experienced mommy burnout.
Today, I deal with tantrums of a highly active, strong-willed and sometimes defiant six-year-old. My son is at a stage where he is not afraid to voice his opinions, and he occasionally enjoys challenging my authority. He is starting to build a sense of independence, and as a result, I get the back talk and the rebellious behaviour. Discipline has become my biggest struggle, and it takes a lot of my energy.
My evenings are always jammed packed with my son’s homework, making dinner, and packing lunches for the next day. My typical daily routines tend to drag on longer than they really should. Dinner, baths, and bedtime always seem to turn into battles. “Five more minutes,” “I don’t like chicken,” (although he liked chicken last week), “ It’s not dark yet” (thanks to daylight saving time); the list goes on forever.
The goal is to get all my tasks done before bedtime, which is 8:30 pm for him and God knows when for me. With all that going on, I still have assignments and studying waiting for me. Somehow I get it all done in-between the playing, meltdowns, and tantrums. By the time I make it to bed, there are days I can’t remember if I spent meaningful quality time with my son.
Motherhood can be overwhelming and draining, especially as a single parent. There are days when I don’t want to get out of bed. Sometimes, I feel like crying, and I do have moments when I break down. Over the years I have developed my own ways to prevent myself from reaching my breaking point.
5 Ways I Prevent Burnout
Mommy time out: Step away from the child and find a moment to take a break. My favourite breaks consist of a little self-care. I usually take a hot bath and give myself a facial or I find a babysitter and step out of the house for an hour (maybe more). Find a way to take a moment for yourself, recollect your thoughts, and get back to tackling motherhood.
Rest: Make sure you are getting enough sleep at night (I somehow never do). If you have the luxury of a child who naps in the daytime, take advantage and take a nap too.
Ask for help: Seek out a support system; people who can help you tackle difficult times with your child. In my situation, I have a strong support system. I reach out to them when I need advice and support.
Vent: Sometimes all we need is a few things off our chest. If you know me, you know this is my favourite thing to do.
Change your routine: As moms, we have a schedule we like to follow, but sometimes throw the schedule away and do what works for the day.
What are your effective strategies for preventing mommy burnout?
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Great blog, mommy burnout is real & hard when going through it. Sometimes we just have to remind ourselves we are human and we are doing the best we can at that moment in time. Self care is so important and we can often forget ourselves in the process which I have several times. I deal with an extremely active six year old who has been diagnosed with having adhd & some other stuff I yet to find out in the new year which has been taking a toll on me not knowing what I will be told; desperately waiting for that hospital appointment to figure out what is going on. Then I have a four year old who is head strong and standing up for his independence. Balancing both boys from not killing eachother on a daily basis has become daunting to say the least. They love eachother to death and will defend each other just as much sibling rivalry as they have. I often find it difficult spending enough quality time between the two of them and sometimes questing if I have done enough. Wishing you the best of luck with everything.
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Yes, we do need to have those reminders. We are just human, and sometimes we forgot that we need to take a break because we can’t do it all. I can’t imagine having a child going through the diagnosis process, but I have had a lot of experience working with children who have ADHD and other behavioural diagnoses. ADHD is so common and easily diagnosed. There is so much support for children and families who experience the challenges that come with that specific diagnosis. I have a strong-willed child, just like your four-year-old. Stay tuned for my next blog as I will be sharing how I deal with my son and the things that I implemented in the home recently because I was losing my mind lol.